You're completely useless in the revolution.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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