I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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