So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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