He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
