you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
