Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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