so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize