Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
