Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
