Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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