There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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