i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
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I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize