is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
