after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
