Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
