is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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