It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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