All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
