I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
