Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
