Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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