I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
