You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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