And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
