so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
