In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
