HIV tests are more positive than that guy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
