well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wear drunk well.
Someone signed my nipple.
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