i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
