THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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