i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
