Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize