Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize