Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
