Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
