my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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