This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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