How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize