i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
