she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm both gender and math confused
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