Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
