Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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