Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
