Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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