I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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