Moan for me like Helen Keller
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.