U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat