my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.