i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it glows. i had to have it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!