Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.