Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
