I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she peed on how many people?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
