I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
