awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
