I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
