Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
