Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
