Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
