I don't think brook has ever known best
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
