sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
