I wannas sexs uuuuu
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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