somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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