Is it because I queefed?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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