Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
