Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize