thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im part way to drunk.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
