im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize