So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
