he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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