so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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