I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
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i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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