I don't think brook has ever known best
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
