The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
