i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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